When my wife and I got married almost 14 years ago… she had a “chi-weenie”. A dog that was a mixture of a Chihuahua and a Dachshund. Then soon after that, she rescued a dog that was a mixture of a Chihuahua and a Shih Tzu. These were both very small dogs. When we moved into our house about a year later. I told her I wanted a real dog. That’s when we rescued Kirby.
We’re not sure what breed Kirby was. He was definitely a hound. He taught our other two dogs how to howl whenever we left the house. He had the markings of a beagle but was definitely larger than a beagle would be. Maybe he was part blue heeler. At any rate… I think he was about 75 pounds.
So I got my real dog. And he was a great dog. But he was getting up there in years. And he developed a somewhat serious health problem. Almost assuredly the first of many. So after considering the quality of life situation for him. We decided that it was best for us to say goodbye.
I wasn’t really prepared for the sense of loss that I felt in the days after our decision. Of course we second guessed ourselves. Yes, we could have had more time with him. But… keeping him while watching his health decline would not have been good for anyone.
It really did surprise me how much a part of our lives he occupied. I’m still not used to waking up in the middle of the night to silence… rather than his loud snores while he’s taking up a quarter of our bed. We stood firm on not letting him up on the bed for years. But we finally gave in. And when we did, we were all much happier. He just loved being with us. And he stopped waking us up in the morning from the other room before we were ready.
It just won’t be the same without him. But… in a way that helps me to look back with fond memories. I would have loved to talk to my mom about losing our dog. She was a huge dog lover. And Kirby was her kind of dog. But she passed a few months ago. So it’s been a rough few months.
I think I’m supposed to wrap this up with some supposed words of wisdom. Not sure I have any. It’s safe to say we’ll be missing Kirby for a long time. And even though we miss him. Remembering him makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Just like remembering my mom makes me feel good inside. Not putting them on the same level of course. But I am learning a bit about the grieving process. I’m super glad to have very fond memories around those I’ve lost. I’m trying to lean into that good feeling I get when I think of them.
