One Person Can Make a Difference

I believe that one person really can make a difference.  All too often we hear reference to the fact that I am just one person, I can’t change the world.  I am learning that we really do all individually and collectively make a difference.  Just like the rock that is skipped across the still water that sends ripples as it disappears into the bottom of the lake; we too send ripples across not only our lives but the lives all around us.  Just imagine what the lake would look like if 3 or 4 were skipping rocks at the same time, now imagine how dramatically the face of it would change if a hundred all did the same.  The ripple effect becomes exponential, not only do we have an impact on those around us but also on the spheres of influences that those around us have.

One can look back at history and see many examples of individuals who made a huge impact on the world.  Billy Graham, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, Helen Keller, Anne Frank, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln just to name a few.  We see their influence on the world and attribute it to some special gift that they had.  While circumstances may have impacted their influence they each chose to use the situations they were given to make a difference for others.  I am not sure that they were really anything “special” more that the outcome was based on the decisions that they made.

We are all nobody special and yet we all are special in that each and everyone regardless of status, upbringing, mistakes of the past, and even natural ability can and do make a difference.  Recently I received notice that my son was going to receive the Presidential Unit Citation.  This award is given for “extraordinary heroism in action against an armed enemy.  The unit must display such gallantry, determination, and esprit de corps in accomplishing its mission under extremely difficult and hazardous conditions so as to set it apart from and above other units participating in the same campaign.”  How does a young man from Keizer, Oregon; raised by a single mom; not associated with anyone of high stature; just a regular every day kid become such a hero?  I would like to take credit that I was such a wonderful mom who had all the right answers and did all the right things but that’s really not true (except the wonderful mom thing, well okay truthfully, I just did the best that I knew how with lots of mistakes and tons of God’s grace).  What really shaped this young man was a result of the seeds that were planted by all those who crossed his path, yes even the bad seed.

Kind of an interesting thought how does bad seed turn into good fruit?  While the seed that was sown may not have necessarily been meant for good; our attitude, decisions and choices that we make can stall us, turn us bitter, or even develop into a full blown pity party.  (Oh yes I have often had coffee with pity, sometimes even a full scale lunch, it was a lonely gathering that only I enjoyed, unfortunately for those around me it often had a rancid odor, in other words while I might have enjoyed the pity party it stunk for those around me.)  Or we can use the seed to turn a different direction, reevaluate our purpose and mission, or in my sons’ case set out to prove that they were wrong.  Whatever the motivation it still boils down to decisions and choices and in many cases those decisions and choices must be made over and over again.  The problem with much of life is it is so daily.  Daily decisions (often the same ones being made over and over again), daily habits, daily choices that often don’t really seem to make a difference.  Maybe it’s just that we don’t see the difference that they make.  Consider eating a 3 inch chocolate chip cookie.  Will it make a difference if I have one today? Probably not, but if I make a decision to have a cookie today, and then tomorrow, and the next and so on that simple cookie that adds 120 calories a day, adds 3600 calories in a month or 43,200 calories in a year.  There is power in exponential growth.  Influence works the exact same way; if we each only made a difference in a person’s life exponential growth will automatically kick in.  But even more what if we each made a difference each and every day whether it be simply holding the door open, buying a meal or a bag of groceries for someone who is hungry, a kind word, or even simpler sharing a smile with everyone we walk or drive by.  By looking at things this way changing the world seems more of a possibility, maybe even a reality.

One may never know the impact that they have on others.  I have been extremely blessed to see the impact of one’s life that really just loved and accepted others where they were.  I have had so many come up to me and tell me how much they knew that Ryan loved them.  He didn’t just say it, he showed it.  It has impacted me to emulate my son and make a difference in others and I do believe that I can inspire others to do the same.  It is best summed up by John F Kennedy “One person can make a difference and every person should try.”

Shawna

For Your Birthday

I like to think about
God watching over our lives
from the beginning…

…arranging things
so that our paths would cross
and we would realize
we were meant for each other.

God made you for me…
and I bet it makes Him happy
to see what a wonderful husband
you are.

It makes me happy, too…
having your love
and sharing our faith
in the One who knows us so well.

I love you.

—————————————

Above was the verse on the birthday card my wife gave me today. While I’m not entirely sure I’m worthy of such praise… I can truly identify with the idea that our relationship was divinely arranged from the beginning. I know that some people have their faith reinforced after witnessing healings and such. Our relationship is one miracle that has definitely reinforced mine. It was as much an obvious evidence of God as I could imagine.

Pondering Thoughts of the Vastness of Life

I sat outside this afternoon at the picnic table at work soaking up the sun (yes it does shine once in awhile here in Oregon).   The view was tremendous.  My office is on a hillside overlooking the south part of town, it is almost a park like setting.  The industrial area below was humming with work, and you could hear the traffic moving along I-5, yet the birds chirping seemed to be a much stronger sound, well at least more peaceful and beautiful.  The valley gives way to rolling hills which leads into the mountains, really quite breath taking.

As I sat there taking it all in I was overwhelmed by the vastness.  Quite different than the view from my desk which is really limited.  I began to wonder what God’s view was at that time (and yes for a brief minute, Ryan’s view from Heaven, how spectacular it must be).

I began to think about the little details.  I am confident that in one of the houses, way across where I could barely see, was someone.  However, my view being limited I couldn’t tell if there was someone, let alone what color their hair was, or eyes, or were they wearing flip flops?  Probably not at least not blinged out ones like those of us who are “cool” do.  Okay squirrel….(for those of you who are wondering what in the world that means, watch the movie UP). Focus…okay back to the view and thought.

How in the world can God up in Heaven, look down at the vastness and yet care about each and everyone of us individually?  He not only knows what color my hair is, He has a plan and purpose that is specific just for me.   While I don’t doubt this at all, I just don’t understand how that is possible.  He is not surprised by anything that happens and He promises to work all things for good.  Our lives are indeed like the tapestry.  Lots of threads all woven together.  

While I prefer bright cheery colors and could live with out the black and dark brown colors, I realize the blacks and the browns or dark colors if you will, are what give the tapestry definition.  Just like the dark times in our lives, they add definition and dimension to make up the final picture. While I know this is true, I still would prefer to live without the dark.  Perhaps I have already had enough of the dark colors and now its time for the brightness to paint my life.

It’s been a little over 5 years since Ryan was KIA.  I am reminded of it again as the anniversary of some of his best buddies approaches tomorrow.  I couldn’t help but ask why they were taken.  Ryan’s purpose was to protect them, if they were going to be taken as well, then why did he have to die also?  These questions still remain unanswered, although the more I learn the more I wonder if he could have handled it.  He took the other losses so personal.  He told me his job and mission was to protect the others.  He had felt like he failed.  So when he was killed I accepted it, knowing he was saving the others (okay so accepted may not be the best word, but it did help knowing that he was doing what he was “called” to do).  All that to say that the darkest days have also shaped who I am.  I definitely have a different perspective on life and it’s brevity.  In fact 6 years ago, I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to sit out on the picnic bench.

We don’t always know what God’s plan for us is but we can stand on His promises knowing that He loves us, never gives us more than we can handle and will work all things for good.  Just like the sunshine that beat down on my face today, God has blessed me immensely with a new phase of bright colors and sunshine with the perfect man for me.

You’re the Best, Shawna

Principles for Life

I have been reading Black Belt Patriot by Chuck Norris (which I highly recommend). Imagine what this country if not the world would be like each if us adapted his Principles for Life:

  1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
  2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
  3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person that I meet.
  4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family and acknowledge that no other success can compensate for failure in the home.
  5. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
  6. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
  7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself that I will have no time to criticize others.
  8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
  9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness toward another person’s viewpoint while still holding fast to that which I know to be true and honest.
  10. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
  11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends.
  12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.

Just imagine…. Shawna

Civic review

The following is an excerpt from a review of the Civic by a Kelley Blue Book editor. After our trip up the coast yesterday, I can say it’s pretty accurate.

Driving Impressions

The 2012 Honda Civic is not the smoothest or quietest car in the category. Nor is it the most fun to drive. Curious, then, that we’d rate it tops in driving dynamics in our shootout of the four newest cars in the category. How does it do it? With the help of steering and pedal response that other automakers could only dream of delivering. It’s easy to overlook excellence in these areas, but just as driving feel is a big part of the magic in a Porsche, the way the Civic gracefully listens and responds to a driver’s input is a key reason we consider the 2012 Honda Civic the connoisseur’s compact sedan.

His and hers

Shawna and I had talked a bit about the idea of his/hers Honda Civics. While we both thought the idea was interesting, she wasn’t really having much of it. Her Chrysler 300C HEMI was quite a bit nicer than a Civic. We also felt we needed a four-door car for occasional passengers.

But then I found out that the Civic EX-L version has leather and heated seats! Once I mentioned that, she was all over it. So we threw out the idea of having a four-door altogether and decided on a second two-door Civic. The EX-L model comes standard with an automatic transmission. So hers is an automatic and mine is a stick. I’m sure that will at least mess me up once in awhile with me either trying to hit the clutch in hers or forgetting to in mine.

The vehicle pictured is identical to the one we got for her today. I call it the “princess” edition. And her Chrysler 300 is going to find a new home somewhere.

While two new cars at once would normally be a little unreasonable. We had very good trade-ins. I think we traded both cars in at a very good place in their lives. And we got a fair price for them.

Actually it really seemed that the two-door EX-L was just meant to be hers. These are very hard to find in the two-door models. We went to the only dealer in the area who had one. We arrived at 10:10am. And when we arrived our salesperson told us that she had an appointment with a man to buy this very car at 10:00am. But he was late because he got called into work. We literally bought it out from under him. He showed up while we were finishing up our negotiations.

New car

A few days ago I parted with my 2006 Mustang in favor of a new 2012 Honda Civic.

Things change a little bit when a single-person one-car situation turns in to a married-couple two-car family.

When we got married, Shawna had a nice 2006 Chrysler 300 with 90,000 miles on it. And I had a 2006 Mustang with just over 80,000 miles. Both great cars. But as I was thinking about practicality and the future, I sort of figured that one really nice car is enough. Our other car should be more sensible and more economical.

While a smaller two-door car would be ok for us most of the time, we know there will be times when we need something larger with four doors. So the logical choice was to trade in my Mustang on an economy car. Then just keep the Chrysler 300 for those times when we need a four-door.

So I started thinking about trading in the Mustang on something more lower-end. I was initially leaning toward a Nissan Versa or a Toyota Yaris. But we decided to go a notch or two up with the Honda Civic. We found one online at a local dealer that was two years old and “certified pre-owned” with only 12,000 miles on it. A four-door Civic with an automatic.

We went to the dealer with a pretty solid plan for negotiating. We decided if they didn’t meet our price requirements that we would just flat walk out. Turns out they had sold the car we wanted. So instead we started eyeing a brand new bright red two-door Civic with a 5-speed.

Oddly enough, the price of a two year-old used Civic was not very different at all from the price of a new one. After talking to a number of people about this, it seems to be true. The used car market is weird right now when you’re looking for low-mileage cars.

Their asking price for the new car wasn’t bad. But they initially made a pretty low offer for the trade-in allowance on the Mustang. However we knew exactly what it was worth. So we held firm and sent the sales person back to his boss about four times before they finally came back and gave us a good price.

While we said yes on the deal, we said no on virtually all the options and extras they wanted to sell us. There was an extended warranty, undercoating, clear bra, and a bunch of other things. We said no to everything except one. That was the theft protection where they etch a serial number into all the glass in the car so that it makes identification and recovery easier. Since Honda Civics are near the top of the list of cars being stolen these days, it made sense.

So far Shawna has been driving the new Civic to work each day since she has the longer commute. And we’ll probably take the Honda on most longer trips like up to the Portland area. Should work out rather well and also prevent adding too many miles to the Chrysler 300.

Yippee!

Communication in the modern age

I recently read a little article titled something like “Phone calls are rude”. The point of the article was that calling someone on the telephone demands immediate, undivided attention. Whereas other forms of communication we use today like instant messaging, text messaging, email, and many others do not. I find this to be an interesting topic.

Then a few weeks ago I was working on a fairly urgent project. I was waiting on a file from someone that worked for another agency. I emailed him to ask if he would please let me know just as soon as the file was available so I could do my thing. I then went to work from home for the afternoon because I was expecting a delivery.

Well, I never received notice the the file had been made available. So our deadline came and went and there was a fair amount of hardship caused as a result.

The following Monday I came into the office to find a voice mail from this person at the other agency. They had called my on the telephone to tell me that this necessary file was available. Gah! Had I received that message in a timely fashion, I could have met the deadline. But I did not receive the message until it was too late.

I don’t ever check my work voice mail from home. Compared to email… I almost never use the phone at work period. I might receive one phone call every couple of weeks if that. So checking my voicemail from home would never occur to me. Nothing important ever gets done that way anymore.

In addition to that… I made my request to this person via email. I can’t really avoid the blame for not getting the message. But when you ask a question in email, don’t you normally expect the response to come via email?

Seasons

As I sit and look out the window with the blue sky attempting to burst through the dull gray of winter, it reminds me of the cycles people often go through. There are times in life that reflect the warmth of summer — bursting with love, peace, laughter, family and all the joyful things that are like a child playing on a swing set on a warm August day. Then there are the dark seasons of life that resemble gloomy, cold, stormy days in the midst of winter — loss of a loved one, financial stress, even the humdrum of daily life. But then there comes the season I enjoy most — springtime. Spring is full of hope. New buds and blossoms burst forth with signs of new life invoking new possibilities, hopes and dreams; gray transitions into beautiful colors bringing joy to all those around. The air, while still crisp, warms, and the sun begins to peek through the window pane, warming my soul and bringing a smile to my face.

Just as nature experiences all seasons, so do we. Sometimes we can prepare —like putting on a coat during the winter — but life does throw us curve balls. We go through unexpected seasons, but we can remain hopeful when going through winter because we know “spring” is coming. I have found challenging times lead to growth and new opportunities. I must choose to take advantage of those opportunities and in the difficult seasons plant good seeds so that when spring comes around, beauty, hope and joy will burst forth and bless others. So while it is still winter time, know that spring is coming and with that season will come hope.

~Shawna Fenison

Malice

A couple of months ago, Shawna got in a bit of a fender bender. She changed lanes and didn’t see the car next to her. It seemed like fairly minor damage, but the repair bill was around $2,000. So a couple of weeks ago we paid the $500 deductible to get it fixed. The body shop did a wonderful job. It looked great.

Then a couple of days ago… I noticed that someone had KEYED her car… right where the damage had been. We’re talking a significant wavy scratch about two feet long. We got an estimate on fixing the scratch… $780.00!!

This makes me pretty angry. I don’t think a complete stranger would have done this. Hard to say. I guess I just don’t understand the motivation behind it. It’s probably not fair to suspect anyone specific without evidence.

Every time I see that scratch, I get a little angrier. I just cannot fathom that level of malice. The idea of karma comes to mind. While that term is derived from eastern religions… the concept is true. Whoever did this will reap what they have sown.